My Mother has gone home...

My sweet mother went to be with the Lord yesterday, July 12 at 2:35 in the afternoon. She fought a valiant battle against a brain tumor since August 19, 2006. She remained loving, caring, even funny through all the tough times. I'll write more after the funeral. It's too hard right now. We all miss her so much, but we rejoice that she's is dancing in Heaven and enjoying the thrill of being in the presence of Jesus.

John's test...

John's heart catheterization is scheduled for Tuesday the 10th at 8:30. In the meantime he can't drive, work or do anything strenuous. He's having a hard time just sitting around but I'm not letting him do anything!
Our first reading program went great...we had 45 in attendance and they seemed to have a lot of fun. The local radio station interviewed me today about the Summer Reading program so we'll get some free publicity! I'll post pics later.

Time to catch up...

The last week has been a real roller coaster of emotions. John was scheduled for a heart catheterization last Friday. But on Thursday, I received a call at work that the nurse felt my Mother was in her last hours. So I left work and went out to spend time with Mom. She had a high fever and was barely responsive to anyone. All of my brothers and sisters were in and out all day. The music therapist came that day and sat by Mom's bed playing Mom's favorite hymns. Sherry, Ruth, Miranda and I sang along...through our tears. It was such a beautiful moment. Mom even smiled as we sang. Then Amy, the musical therapist, sang one of Mom's favorites..."Annie's Song" by John Denver. Mom always said the song made her think of "Bill"...my dad. As we sang that, Dad was sitting on the bed and as weak as Mom was, she reached her good arm up and pulled Dad down to her on the bed. It was so sweet...we were all crying. She seemed a little better by evening when her temperature came down. So Friday I went to work. My brothers who stayed said she really rallied the next day...she wanted to get dressed and sit in her chair...she was talking and able to take some liquids. It was amazing! Saturday, John and I went to the grocery before we were scheduled to stay with Mom for the weekend. John started having chest pains and a very heavy feeling. We decided he needed to go to the emergency room. We spent all day in the emergency room. They did an EKG, a cat scan, & blood tests. They gave him some medications for angina and monitored him until evening. After calling his cardiologist they sent us home with instructions for John to not drive, not work, nor do anything strenuous. Joel and Wendy drove down from Lansing to see my Mother so they were able to stop and see John in the emergency room. We were so glad to have them there for moral support! They went to visit Mom after John was reassured that he wasn't having a heart attack. So today (Sunday) has been very quiet...he's been resting and taking it very easy. The cardiologist is supposed to call and reschedule the catheterization tomorrow. I'm planning to work unless they reschedule it on tomorrow. It's the first day of our summer reading program and I'm hoping to be there! What a week! I've sure felt the prayers of my friends and family helping us to get through all this. Mom isn't doing as well today so we're pretty uncertain about what the next week will bring.

Wendy's baby shower in Winchester

Molly and I held a baby shower for Joel and Wendy last Sunday. It was a great time and they received lots of neat gifts for "baby Jake"!

Flowers for my new office!

Molly, Myron & Betsy sent me these lovely lilies to congratulate me on my new job! Today was my first story time as director. It went really well! The kids are still a little shy with me since not all of them know me yet. But a fun time was had by all.

I stopped out to see my Mom tonight...she is so weak...I don't know how she keeps going. I thought her breathing seemed labored and I could hardly understand her when she spoke. It's so hard to see the ones you love fading away before your eyes.

He's still growing!

I took a photo of my axolotl when I changed his water today...he's getting so big...he's got all his legs now and huge pink gills! Isn't he cute?

Betsy on a caterpillar

Wendy's baby shower

Wendy's mom had a very nice shower for her on Saturday. We drove up to Hobart after spending the night at Mom's. It was a 200 mile drive (I dozed a lot). We had a really nice time. Wendy's folks have a beautiful home built right by a golf course. They have to watch for errant golf balls but it's a lovely spot. Joel and Wendy received so many nice baby gifts! We're all getting excited for Jake's arrival! It was fun to see Betsy playing with Wendy's neice Olivia...they're both so cute. Betsy woke up from a short nap and was really unhappy...I think the unfamiliar bed and not enough sleep was pretty hard on her. She finally got awake and then really had fun with Olivia after everyone else left the party. Here are a few pictures of that fun day too.

Weekend at Mom's

We spent Friday night at Mom's. She had company all evening so we didn't get supper until almost 9:30! She isn't really eating anything now...just drinks a little water and lemonade. She still has a sense of humor...she was sitting in her wheelchair in the front yard and saw a buzzard circling above. She quipped, "Does he know something I don't know?" Black humor but still funny, coming from her. Her mind is still pretty clear but she's so weak. Talking is getting even more difficult for her. I'm so thankful that she still has a sweet disposition and doesn't ever complain. She was telling one of her guests that she might be taking a trip soon...she was talking about heaven. Dad doesn't like to hear her talk about dying so he changes the subject, but I think it's normal and healthy for her to be thinking about her life in heaven. I can't be critical of Dad though...he just can't bear the thought of losing her.

Bonnie's retirement party

My boss retired on May 31st and we surprised her with 2 parties with the storytime moms and kids. What a crowd we had! Bonnie was very surprised and moved...she had to fight back a lot of tears when saying goodbye to all the children. They all love her...it will be a big job for me to try and fill her shoes! Here are some fun photos from her parties.

My axolotl is growing...

Memorial Day Weekend photos

Memorial Day Weekend

Life has been so hectic lately...I realized I hadn't even posted the photos I took at Mom and Dad's on Mothers' Day. So they're on here now. Where do I start...last weekend we stayed at Mom's on Friday night and when we got up in the wee hours to help her, John passed out. It really scared all of us. He went to the dr. and has been scheduled for some heart tests and a treadmill test this week. In the midst of all this, my boss decided to retire and I knew this would be my only chance to become head of the department...even though the timing wasn't great with all that's going on in our family. But I applied and interviewed and just put it in the Lord's hands. Last week I found I had gotten the job! I start June 1st as Director of Children's Services. I'm pretty excited about it! This weekend we visited with our kids in Michigan. It was our first visit up there since Thanksgiving due to our weekend duties at Dad and Mom's. It was so great to get away and spend some quality time with the family. Betsy was so much fun...she's talking all the time...counting, singing the alphabet song and is just a barrel of fun to be around. Molly and I did a little bargain hunting when she was taking her nap and found lots of neat things at Goodwill. We went to their church Sunday morning then headed to Lansing with them to visit Joel and Wendy. Wendy is in her 26th week and has a cute little tummy. Baby "Jake" seems to be developing normally and they're doing really well. I have a few photos to share too. We stopped to see Mom on our way home. She is so weak and isn't really eating at all. She only said a couple of words to us and dozed most of the time. It's so hard to not have her be a part of our lives like she has been for so many years. She was always the first person I wanted to share news with. Dad looks so tired and down. He's trying to build a ramp so he can let Mom sit outside and enjoy the warm weather. She told him she didn't want to be a "lawn ornament". She still has a sense of humor. That's about it for the weekend. I have a pile of laundry to catch up with before it's back to work tomorrow. I hope you all had a wonderful Memorial Day!

Mothers' Day 2007

Betsy with green eyes!

A friend of Molly's took this photo of Betsy...it made her eyes look green instead of blue but it's sure a pretty pose. I'll update here soon I promise...life has been really hectic and I have lots of news...maybe I'll get time to write later.

Some new Betsy and Molly pictures

My new pet...

A friend of mine brought a new pet to the library for me. It's an axolotl...a type of salamander from Mexico. So far he's getting along nicely with my blue betta. He's still in an early stage of development...doesn't have his back legs yet. I'll try to keep you up on his progress here.

I spent Friday with Mom on my day off. She is about the same...she can't walk at all now and so moving her from bed to the wheelchair and the commode is a major undertaking. Especially when it's just me and Dad. It's a lot easier with John there because he's strong enough to support all her weight. She's lost the use of her left hand and the left side of her face isn't functioning right either. It's so sad to see how this disease has progressed. Her mind is still good and she has a good memory but some difficulty expressing herself. Eating is difficult because she gets choked easily. We keep a small wastebasket under the foot of her recliner so she won't try to get up alone. That's what happened the last time she fell. It frustrates her and makes her mad at times but it's the safest way to keep her from falling out of her recliner. Sherry came over Friday afternoon so Dad could get out of the house for a little while. He loves to hunt for Indian artifacts and so he had an hour or two of hunting to give him a little break. I know he's so exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally caring for Mom 24 hours a day. He still doesn't look like he's 80 but I think he's starting to feel like it. I'm going out there tomorrow morning so Sherry can have a break to go home and feed her animals. She has a bunch of horses, cattle, and 2 llamas plus assorted dogs and cats so feeding and watering them is a major job! I really admire all the time she's put into Mom's care...she's laid off from her job and hasn't really had time to look for another so this has been a big sacrifice for her. She and Ruth really have the biggest burden of Mom's care aside from Dad since they don't have jobs right now. It's been pretty tough on all of us, but I'm really glad we've had the chance to show Mom and Dad how much they mean to us.

Betsy enjoying spring weather...

My Personal Dna Report

Encouraging Idealist

Dad and Mom with their new great-granddaughter, Mikaylea

John and I spent the weekend with Dad and Mom. Sometimes it's hard to step back and look at the situation objectively. When we're there, we're so involved in mundane things of life...preparing meals, laundry, cleaning, caring for Mom's needs etc. But when I look at it from a distance, I realize that God is really using this painful time to give the world a witness. He is using our family to show others the joy of sacrificing for others, the value of unconditional love and the ability to step out of my comfort zone to think of the needs of others. I admire my dad so much. He has been caring for Mom 24 hours a day for almost 9 months. I know he's really exhausted...he's 80 years old! But he keeps on loving her and caring for her. He is setting a wonderful example for all his children and grandchildren. Oh sure...he loses patience sometimes...he gets tired and grumpy. But he sure hangs in there and keeps going...even keeping his sense of humor. Mom had a lot of company this weekend. Saturday after the company left, she experienced a small seizure. I don't know if she was over-stimulated or what but she seems to experience those more when she's had a lot of company. Today she enjoyed seeing her newest great-grand child. I loved holding sweet little Mikaylea too! Mom has become much weaker on her left side. She can no longer use the walker because her left hand and left leg don't really work. So we move her from the bed to her chair in a wheelchair. It's getting even more difficult to move her at all and we're hoping to get a lift from hospice to help. John and Dad actually had to lift her into bed and she's very heavy even though she's lost over 80 pounds. She has difficulty when she eats too, since the left side of her face and mouth aren't working right. It was a tough, tiring weekend but I'm glad I was able to be there and spend the time with Dad and Mom. I learned something funny too...never accidentally wash a Depends...it's like leaving 100 Kleenexes in your pocket...what a mess! Oh well...live and learn.

It's Jake!

Wendy called today and the ultrasound revealed their baby is Jake! We're very happy and excited for them. Wendy really wanted a boy so she's getting her wish! Now we just have to wait until September!

Joel and Wendy

We had a really nice weekend with Joel and Wendy. It was great to catch up on all that's been going on in their lives. Joel had to spend quite a bit of time studying for his next actuary exam (on May 16) but we still had time to go out for supper at Outback and just enjoy time together. They visited with Mom on Saturday morning. She had fallen on Friday. When John and I saw her Friday evening she seemed very subdued and weak on her left side. She had stood up and tried to walk across the room by herself...she never goes anywhere without a walker and someone helping her. We don't know why she tried to go alone, but she fell and skinned up her face. Joel and Wendy thought she was doing better on Saturday when they visited her. I think we're going to have to have someone in the same room with her at all times now.
We're excited to hear about Wendy's ultrasound tomorrow...we may find out if they're having "Jake" or "Ella"!

This devotion was in the bulletin at the funeral home when we went to the calling yesterday. I believe that Zan wrote this after her Dad's stroke. It was so touching and yet encouraging. I thought I'd share it here. Zan touched so many lives...it was obvious at the funeral home how many people loved her and will miss her pixie smile and loving nature. It's so hard for Jamey and their sons. He and Zan were married when they were 18 and have been married for 25 years.


I never thought about nursing homes while walking behind my daddy on the trapline, or casting fishing line in beside his. I didn't think of a nursing home while sitting on the edge of his bed having one of our heart to heart talks. Nursing homes and hospital beds never entered my mind when we danced together on the living room floor. Now the tides have changed in our lives, the seasons have come and gone. I'm still walking behind, but this time I'm pushing the wheels that give him a little freedom of movement. We still have heart to heart conversations but they are one sided, for you see he can only listen now. We dance a little differently now with his one hand extended, for movements are limited. But in this new season, we share something that I tried to share many years ago...a faith and hope in our Lord. That amazing grace that pours out from Calvary onto us. And someday, when the seasons change, again we'll be walking together side by side on golden streets. We'll share, and he'll speak to me once more, and we'll dance with the angels.

Isn't it amazing that the day Zan went to heaven, her father had gone to heaven only four days before! He had died the day after her accident and she hadn't known it. He was there to greet her when she arrived in heaven. I find that strangely comforting...God's timing isn't always our timing...but He always knows best.

Mom update...

I spent the night at Dad and Mom's after I got off work at 8:00 last night. She seems to be a little stronger. They increased the steroid and it's helped her to have an appetite so she's eating a lot better. Her left side seems pretty weak...it's hard for her to hold onto anything with her left hand and food tends to fall out of the left side of her mouth. Her mind is still pretty clear although she gets confused about things. She actually slept all night without getting up...Dad said that's a first! When she doesn't exhibit many symptoms from the tumor, I find myself hoping that she might be getting better...she hasn't had any headaches or big seizures. I'm really grateful that she doesn't seem to have any pain other than that caused by weak muscles. The course of this disease is so varied in each person that we don't really know what to expect. I'm just grateful for each day she has with us. Joel and Wendy are coming home tonight! We haven't seen them since Christmas so we're really looking forward to their visit...even though it will be a short one. If you'd like to see some cute pics in celebration of Molly and Myron's 10th wedding anniversary, you can check out her blog too.

Missing Zan...

This has been a sad week. A good friend of mine was seriously injured in an automobile accident last week and she passed away today. Zan was such a sweet woman. I first met her at her wedding. Her husband, Jamey, was one of my second grade students when I taught school...way back in 1970. I always loved Jamey and we had a special friendship. So I was delighted to be invited to their wedding. They've been married 25 years and have two grown sons. I just talked to Zan a couple of weeks ago when she brought her granddaughter to the library. I feel so bad for Jamey and the family...they've gone through so much the past week. Zan's father died the day after her auto accident. He had been in a nursing home due to a stroke. Please remember this dear family in your prayers. They love the Lord and are leaning on Him for comfort and understanding through all this.

I'm back...

The past few weeks have been so hectic, I haven't had time to blog. The kids had spring break last week so we were super busy at the library. I was so tired each night from being on my feet so much! Molly and Betsy spent the week with us and it was such fun! Betsy is talking so much and really starting to bond with us so the visit was much too short! She loves the library and visited me there several times. John and I spent the weekend out at Mom and Dad's. Mom was outside in her wheelchair when we arrived Saturday. She really enjoyed the brisk spring air and looking at all her blooming spring flowers. She was really itching to dig in with her hoe, but just isn't strong enough for that. She is eating better and seems a little bit stronger. She and Ruthie actually made dumplings one day...Ruth held her up and then would let her rest when she got too tired...but they got them made! She has always liked to cook and bake and I know she's really missing that. She had Ruthie making strawberry preserves at 10:00 one night...she sort of loses track of the time and obsesses about things until you just give in and do it! Of course we all want to make her days happy and as productive as we can. I'm so glad she's lived to see the spring...it seems to have given her a fresh outlook.

Grandma Leah with Elizabeth




Betsy on her visit to Grandma Karen

Mom and Ruth making dumplings