Mom...

Mom had her 19th radiation treatment today. I haven't seen her in a week though I've talked to Dad on the phone. I've had a scratchy throat all week and didn't want to take a chance on giving her any infection. My sister said she's getting weaker and has lost much of her hair. Dad said she's lost almost 30 pounds. She has no strength and no appetite. Over the weekend she had several small seizures which really scared them and made Mom very anxious. I just hate to see her suffer this way. Whenever I talk to Dad he is always on the verge of tears. I know that God is with them and knows their needs...it's just so hard to see His hand in this sometimes. There are hundreds of people praying for Mom and Dad...I just pray that they will feel these prayers and that the Lord will be very near and real to them as they go through this. I feel so helpless...I don't know what to do to help. Dad says they have plenty of food, Ruth is keeping their laundry done. They really don't want company because Mom is too exhausted to talk. I just pray that she'll be able to regain her strength when these treatments are complete.

Our weekend...

The Homecoming weekend at my parents' church was really wonderful. My uncle preached the sermon and it was the first time I had heard his testimony and how he was called to the ministry. Joel played his guitar and sang the song he wrote from Psalm 3. He did a wonderful job...I was so proud of him. My niece sang a beautiful song too. The church was really packed with people from all over...Dad counted 30 from our family alone...not counting aunts, uncles and cousins. It was a very hard day for all of us emotionally. Mom was on everyone's mind and Dad spent most of the mealtime answering questions about Mom. She wasn't well enough to come and really couldn't have too many visitors so Joel and Wendy just stopped in for a little while. When she gets overtired or overstimulated she has small seizures. It's so painful to see her so weak and tired. Tomorrow will be the midway point in her radiation treatments. My sister, Sherry, said Mom is starting to lose her hair now. She also has a thrush infection in her mouth and no appetite. I just hope she can get through this treatment and start to regain her strength. She didn't get to see Molly & Myron and Betsy because they all had colds. I took out an apple pie Molly had baked for them and a nice care package from Molly. Mom really wanted to see them but knew her immunity was too low to be exposed to their colds. I really enjoyed seeing old friends and remembering the church that I grew up in. Our visit with Joel and Wendy was too short...they keep so busy. I always love having them there. Molly and her family left on Tuesday. Betsy is really starting to know us now and can even say Papaw to John. She's learning a lot of new words and is so much fun. It was hard to say good bye to all of them but I know we'll probably get to see them at the end of the month...then it'll be Thanksgiving and Christmas time!

Enjoying the toys at Grandma's library 

Betsy loved the "pish" 

Betsy likes Grandma's Library! 

After the Homecoming 

Two cute girls 

One more picture, Grandma... 

Oooooh... 

She likes Grandma Karen's lap 

Betsy...always on the move! 

Molly & Betsy 

Mom...

I haven't blogged a lot about my mom lately. It's so hard to share how deeply I hurt when I think of what Mom's going through. It's difficult to even put into words. I asked Dad yesterday how he's sleeping. He said he awakes every time Mom makes a sound...she's always on our minds. I made a pot of vegetable soup and some blueberry muffins for their supper last evening. Ruthie was making a beautiful big lasagna when we got to the folks so we put the soup in the frig for today and had the lasagna last evening. Ruthie has done so much for Mom and Dad...she goes with them most days for her radiation treatments. I know Dad has really grown to depend on her...especially for moral support. Mom saw her family doctor for the first time since her fall in the hospital. He was really upset to see how bruised she is...there's a large hematoma on her cheekbone that isn't getting any better. We kept warm compresses on it last evening but it's still very tender. Mom is so drained of energy from the radiation treatments...it's an effort for her to walk to the bathroom and to even talk. Dad said that she has come to terms with the possibility of her death...he wants her to be hopeful but knows that the doctors haven't really given her a reason to hope. She has a peace about it and knows she'll be with the Lord...but it's so hard to imagine being separated from her until we reach heaven. I just can't put it into words that make sense. I strongly believe that we'll meet again in eternity...but it's so hard to say goodbye. We have always been an affectionate family but I've noticed that all of us take time to say "I love you" more to each other as we anticipate this separation. Mom has been such a loving, giving person all her life. She took care of us seven kids when Dad was working away from home and only came home on the weekends. She taught us all so much about life, God, family and sacrifice.
This weekend their church is having a Homecoming. This is the church we grew up in and I was married in. It was a big part of our lives as we were growing up. It's a little country church with only about 20 members remaining. The church is next door to the house we grew up in. They've had a tremendous response to their invitation to the Homecoming...they're expecting 150 people! Both my kids are planning to come home for it. Mom's brother, a retired pastor, is going to be preaching at the service. Joel is going to sing a song he wrote too. I think my brother is going to videotape it so we can show it to Mom...she feels it would be too emotional for her to attend. I think it will be really emotional for all of us knowing that we'll all be thinking of Mom.

The whole crew! 

Library float...Driven to Read 

Finishing touches 

Our intrepid leader 

Back at the library after the parade 

Mardi Gras Parade

Every year the library staff builts a float to ride in the Mardi Gras parade downtown Winchester. This year our theme was "Driven to Read". We made a cardboard stock car and dressed up like a pit crew. Leesa and I rode in the car since we're both "gimpy" with bad knees. It was a lot of fun...we threw pounds of candy to the gathered kids and won a plaque too! Here are a few pics of our entry.

That smile always brightens my day! 

Deep in thought... 

The past couple of weeks have been really stressful. Dealing with the emotions of my Mom's cancer has been really tough. I know that God can heal her and I pray that He will. It's so hard to be strong and have faith when the doctors are not offering any encouragement to her at all. Molly and Betsy came to visit a week ago Sunday. We had a really sweet visit with Dad and Mom on Monday evening. Then on Tuesday Mom started radiation and chemotherapy. Wednesday was Molly's birthday and we planned to take her out to celebrate her birthday. Early that morning Mom had another bad seizure. They took her to Muncie to the hospital and she was in the emergency room until 4 p.m. Finally at 7:30 they got nausea medicine to help her...she just kept saying "I feel so sick." It was so painful to see her suffer so much. Then Wednesday night my 2 sisters and one of my brothers stayed with her so Dad could go home to sleep. They said she was asleep and snoring so they stepped out of the room to talk so they wouldn't disturb Mom. They heard a crash and she had gotten out on the window side of the bed and fallen. She landed flat on the right side of her face. They rushed her to a CAT scan and thankfully nothing was broken. But her poor face...it was swollen to twice the size and purple from her eyebrow to her neck and her eye was swollen shut. I felt so sorry for her and for my siblings too...they all blamed themselves. The doctors believe the Dilantin level was too low and allowed her to have the seizure. So she got to go home Saturday and started back on radiation treatments today. We stayed with her yesterday. She was weak but able to walk with an arm to lean on. After she took her chemo drugs she began to feel sick. I just pray that the treatment isn't worse than the illness itself. Molly wrote on her blog a wonderful description of how we all feel about Mom and her suffering. John and I started a Bible study with our small group tonight. We were studying about finding joy through suffering. It was really what we needed to hear and reinforced what we already knew...that God is in control and He allows these trials for a higher purpose. We may not know why until we get to heaven, but we have faith that He is walking through this with us.

A girl and her cell phone... 

What a smile! 

Betsy at Grandma Karen's house 

My sweet Betsy